I didn’t realize I was a FAT HEAD!

I’ve lost 41 lbs. since January 1, (yes, you can keep your New Year’s resolutions) and a close friend acquaintance told me she could tell I had lost weight because my face looked thinner! Imagine that!


 

 

No, I didn’t do it riding my bike

No, I didn’t buy a Ninja juicer or find a magic “fat burner”,

Slurp...NOT!
Slurp…NOT!

I bought my husband and sister Fit Bits for Christmas and I let their obsessive/compulsive personalities love of technology lead the way. Once they figured out that they could download the Fit Bit app to their phone and computer, they were on a roll. So, I bought myself a Fit Bit and the competition was on!

Screenshot_20160522-092059

Walk 6-7 miles, burn over 2000 calories and eat 1500-1600 calories daily, and you lose weight. Easy peasy.

I have to change my “About” page, because the bike is in a stationary trainer right now. I started having some vertigo issues late last year, so to remain vertical I had to make some changes.

I started out by dragging the dog around the neighborhood. I say dragging, because he wasn’t as enthusiastic at walking at a fast clip. He prefers sniffing and peeing on every pillar and post.

Speaking of the dog…

Resized_20160625_152154

He just finished his Grand Champion points in June, so we only have 99 points to go for his Bronze.

Did I mention obsessive/compulsive earlier?

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Life in the fast lane…with a bowl of salad

Okay, so I was bored and ended up on the fitness blogs again. Usually I check ’em out at the end of the year, to see if the same fatties (hey, I am, therefore I can) are thinking up new resolutions to get those six-pack abs, and a curvaceous Kardashian derriere. I came upon this pic of a girl doing a yoga position… poor thing, I can see her ribs!

Oh yeah, I feel the stretch
Oh yeah, I feel the stretch

This reminded me of my selfie, that I posted some months back…

Picasso's Reclining Woman-1954
My selfie, as close as you’ll come to seeing me naked and twisted into the shape of a pretzel

No, you won’t get a picture of me standing in the bathroom in my underwear taking a selfie in the mirror to post on the internet 😥 Next, I noticed that everyone and their brother are shunning gluten. Gluten-free brownies, cookies, muffins, tortilla chips, you name it; even the vegans and vegetarians are being shut out. I only saw one picture of a green kale, spinach, broccoli smoothie, so check out Ebay if you’ve been dying to buy one of those Ninja juicers.

Slurp...NOT!
Slurp…NOT!

Now, if you have Celiac’s Disease, then it makes sense to avoid gluten; however, according to WebMD, only 1% of Americans have Celiac’s Disease, and of that group, only 5-10% are diagnosed. So until I have diarrhea, anemia, bone pain, and a severe skin rash (dermatitis herpetiformis), hand over the real thing please. Another thing, how often (really now, fess up) when you are running errands, shopping, etc. and you miss lunch, do you see this type of sign…

Salivating... not salvation
Salivating… not salvation

and think, “gee, I’m starving for a salad”. bacon ranch salad McDs This, I can do:

This does NOT impair my vision. I can find my mouth in the dark!
This does NOT impair my vision. I can find my mouth in the dark!

This just doesn’t seem logical to me:

Is she eating with her hands? She must have long legs; I don't have that much room between me and the steering wheel
Is she eating with her hands? She must have long legs; I must have really short legs!

If you’re curious about how many people drive while eating (not to mention shaving, putting on make-up, etc), you can check out this Gallup Poll link, but if you’re looking for gluten-free recipes, just check out the Fitness (category) blogs. So, is gluten-free a new fad for the other 99% of us? What do you think? And, do you eat salad and drive?

Gird thy loins…

I’ve been reading Fitness blogs again…

Picasso's Reclining Woman-1954
My idea of a selfie

While neglecting my blog and weathering out the vortex of whirling arctic polar air, I turned to my trusty WP Reader to catch up on the happenings across the frozen blogosphere. Not so much going on, I guess. It seems unusually quiet, so I ventured into the Fitness blogs. Unlike the Health blogs, where everyone drinks green kale/spinach juice, the Fitness blogs are a happening place. There are typically 3-5 new posts showing up every second; so many it’s hard to click through them all. Eventually, I just started scanning the titles and a theme emerged…my life theme. Here’s a synopsis of the titles that captured my essence:

My New Fitness Goals

Yes, making new goals every year, because the old ones don’t usually work out so well.

My Goal for the Week

A month is too long.

Rethinking my Fitness Goals

When week 1 doesn’t go according to plan.

Burn off Halloween Candy by Doing These Exercises

Someone posted this on January 6th. I guess in March it will be time to work on turkey and dressing.

The Magic Pill

I wish!

Sixteen Weeks to Sexiness

Yeah, right.

January 6: Breakfast: Cheerios, Lunch: Chicken Caesar Salad, Dinner: Apple = 0.4 lb weight loss

That’s 4 ounces, right?

All About the Best Plastic Surgeon

Skip the plastic surgeon, this is a cheaper and more fun way to go…

I've surfed in a girdle before, haven't you?
I’ve surfed in a girdle before, haven’t you?

 

 

 

Life is good…

treadmill screen
Beginning launch sequence...

^Click the audio strip above!

Beginning week 3

Running on a treadmill
Running my butt off, minus 5lbs!

^^^Click the audio strip (gray thingy) above for the full effect!

Friday night I hit my OBSL

Saturday morning my neighbor, DotVadar (not her real name, but what I call her), and I went and joined a gym. We’ve only been talking about it since before Thanksgiving. The gym is only 5 minutes from where we live, out in BFE (bum f*@# Egypt). This is one of our New Year’s Resolutions that we’ve slowly followed up on. Let me say, it has been a process, a veritably slow process I realize, but DotVadar doesn’t like to jump into anything without thinking it over for a while.

About 2 weeks ago, I finally worked DotVadar up to checking the place out. The gym is quite palatial, futuristic, and smells new. It’s also right next door to the senior center (smells older) and the tootsie roll factory (my term for a sewage treatment facility). Speaking of smells…but I digress. Anyway, we collected all the registration paperwork required to join, including a medical clearance form that needed to be filled out and signed by our doctors. Now, DotVadar hasn’t been to a doctor for 17 years. She has that ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’ mentality and it has probably taken her that long to figure out what she needed to see a doctor for. Once DotVadar made up her mind (a lot of foot tapping), she made her doctor’s appointment and we (I made my appointment the next day) both were moving towards our goal. We managed to survive the doctor’s visits, the blood work, and the tongue depressors, only to find out that our cholesterol levels were in the FTD (fixin’ to die) range. Needless to say, we both got our medical clearance forms signed and each left their respective doctor’s office clutching new prescriptions for Crestor.

Now, I should mention that DotVadar and I are totally different body types. When DotVadar turns sideways, she tends to become invisible; whereas, I tend to appear as if I have a beer belly.

Tribal Fertility and Mother Earth Goddesses
DotVadar thinks she has a muffin top and I'm hiding what only appears to be a beer belly

Friday night, DotVadar’s hubby lit the fire pit just before dark. Which, in our neck of the woods means ‘the bar is open and all visitors welcome’. All of the neighbors have become accustomed to this ritual and tend to drift over and visit bringing various and sundry spirits. DotVadar and I only drink beer, as we have learned our lesson from past libations, so we keep her mini-fridge in the garage stocked with our preferences. While the night was still young, we decided to head to the gym Saturday morning  to register and become official members (let the workouts begin!). As the night progressed we imbibed and chatted with everyone that gathered around the fire. It was a lovely night, chilly but not frigid, and the stars twinkled overhead. All was good with the world!

Saturday morning was a different story. I do believe we had hit our OBSL (optimum beer saturation level) the night before, so it was somewhat painful Saturday morning when she texted and told me to be ready in 5 minutes. I grabbed my forms, sunglasses and a bottle of water and was waiting for her at the foot of my driveway. When she picked me up, DotVadar said she didn’t think we were going to be able to work out on Saturdays in the future. She may have a point there. Our NYR (New Year’s Resolution) was to join a gym, not give up beer!

How are your NYR’s working out (pun intended) for you?

My thanks to: WhatImeant2say and Heretherebespiders for my new acrimonious vocabulary and knowing that others around the world are having fun too!

JustI  🙂