Reliving the ’70s

Yesterday I bought a pair of flared yoga pants.

I don’t do yoga.

It seems they only come in black, no paisley [sigh]
Next, I’m looking for a pair of powder blue corduroy jeans. I haven’t seen corduroy in a long time, so it should be coming back soon!

 

 

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A change up…

Today I left the garage door closed, so the neighbors are thinking I’m dead.

On the weekends, I always open the garage door and begin my day before the sun has officially announced itself. In fact, I did that very thing at 6 A.M., while sipping my life sustaining brew, and gazing up into the heavens, before the birds and squirrels had ventured from their cozy nests, or the neighbors, for that matter. Justdog knew I was up, as he peered at me sleepily with one eye open, but not caring to rouse himself before I had my coffee. He’s a very smart dog.

My husband was up at 5 A.M, going over to the coast to fish with a friend, so the house was empty, well, except for Justdog and Justcat…. and JustI, of course.

The world is mine!

I finished my second cup of coffee, and took Justdog for his morning constitutional before daybreak. The air was crisp, and there was a gentle breeze, but winter is basically over in Florida, so I only had on two layers of clothes, and no winter jacket, for a change.

Walking the dog stirred my appetite, so when we got back I decided to forego another cup of coffee, and go inside to fix myself a hearty breakfast. The sun wasn’t quite up yet, so I closed the garage door, with just a crack for Justcat, so he could come and go, and sit in the sun on the front porch.

I had no sooner finished breakfast and started up the computer, when I heard my 75 year old neighbor’s garage door open. I know the squeak and squeal of each garage door on our cul de sac. From the window in my office, I spied the neighbor walking the lid to my trash bin over to my house. I loaned her the trash bin for her yard waste about a month ago, and she returned the bin, but forgot to return the lid. I see her frequently, but forget to bring the lid home. Obviously, not all that important.

My first thought was, what the heck is she doing up so early. She usually sleeps in ’til 9 or 10 A.M.

Then I realized I had left my garage door mostly down, and she was looking for signs of life. She thinks I’m on my death bed, or that I’ve croaked.

On our cul de sac, an open garage door is a sign of life or a welcome mat for the neighbors, and I have inadvertently sent a signal to all that something is awry. I may as well have hung a quarantine sign on the front door.

I’m thinking I better go open up the garage, to ease everyone’s minds. I’ll be hearing about my faux pas for the better part of next week, as each and every one will ask about my health, seeing as I did a change-up.

Me thinks I will feign a quick recovery.

 

 

 

Scratch the sling-shot maneuver…

Friday – Rush Hour Traffic

Self, JustI say, Perhaps I’ll stay at the back of the pack. It would be a shame to die on a Friday afternoon.

A wise decision, me thinks!

Goodbye Chapstick…

It’s been in the 80’s for the past 3 days, and the weatherman says, “no more winter”! My lips are plumping up as I type! (Note to self, need facial moisturizer with SPF 30)

baby-jane-lips

Life in the fast lane…with a bowl of salad

Okay, so I was bored and ended up on the fitness blogs again. Usually I check ’em out at the end of the year, to see if the same fatties (hey, I am, therefore I can) are thinking up new resolutions to get those six-pack abs, and a curvaceous Kardashian derriere. I came upon this pic of a girl doing a yoga position… poor thing, I can see her ribs!

Oh yeah, I feel the stretch
Oh yeah, I feel the stretch

This reminded me of my selfie, that I posted some months back…

Picasso's Reclining Woman-1954
My selfie, as close as you’ll come to seeing me naked and twisted into the shape of a pretzel

No, you won’t get a picture of me standing in the bathroom in my underwear taking a selfie in the mirror to post on the internet 😥 Next, I noticed that everyone and their brother are shunning gluten. Gluten-free brownies, cookies, muffins, tortilla chips, you name it; even the vegans and vegetarians are being shut out. I only saw one picture of a green kale, spinach, broccoli smoothie, so check out Ebay if you’ve been dying to buy one of those Ninja juicers.

Slurp...NOT!
Slurp…NOT!

Now, if you have Celiac’s Disease, then it makes sense to avoid gluten; however, according to WebMD, only 1% of Americans have Celiac’s Disease, and of that group, only 5-10% are diagnosed. So until I have diarrhea, anemia, bone pain, and a severe skin rash (dermatitis herpetiformis), hand over the real thing please. Another thing, how often (really now, fess up) when you are running errands, shopping, etc. and you miss lunch, do you see this type of sign…

Salivating... not salvation
Salivating… not salvation

and think, “gee, I’m starving for a salad”. bacon ranch salad McDs This, I can do:

This does NOT impair my vision. I can find my mouth in the dark!
This does NOT impair my vision. I can find my mouth in the dark!

This just doesn’t seem logical to me:

Is she eating with her hands? She must have long legs; I don't have that much room between me and the steering wheel
Is she eating with her hands? She must have long legs; I must have really short legs!

If you’re curious about how many people drive while eating (not to mention shaving, putting on make-up, etc), you can check out this Gallup Poll link, but if you’re looking for gluten-free recipes, just check out the Fitness (category) blogs. So, is gluten-free a new fad for the other 99% of us? What do you think? And, do you eat salad and drive?