Scratch the sling-shot maneuver…

Friday – Rush Hour Traffic

Self, JustI say, Perhaps I’ll stay at the back of the pack. It would be a shame to die on a Friday afternoon.

A wise decision, me thinks!

Goodbye Chapstick…

It’s been in the 80’s for the past 3 days, and the weatherman says, “no more winter”! My lips are plumping up as I type! (Note to self, need facial moisturizer with SPF 30)

baby-jane-lips

Life in the fast lane…with a bowl of salad

Okay, so I was bored and ended up on the fitness blogs again. Usually I check ’em out at the end of the year, to see if the same fatties (hey, I am, therefore I can) are thinking up new resolutions to get those six-pack abs, and a curvaceous Kardashian derriere. I came upon this pic of a girl doing a yoga position… poor thing, I can see her ribs!

Oh yeah, I feel the stretch
Oh yeah, I feel the stretch

This reminded me of my selfie, that I posted some months back…

Picasso's Reclining Woman-1954
My selfie, as close as you’ll come to seeing me naked and twisted into the shape of a pretzel

No, you won’t get a picture of me standing in the bathroom in my underwear taking a selfie in the mirror to post on the internet 😥 Next, I noticed that everyone and their brother are shunning gluten. Gluten-free brownies, cookies, muffins, tortilla chips, you name it; even the vegans and vegetarians are being shut out. I only saw one picture of a green kale, spinach, broccoli smoothie, so check out Ebay if you’ve been dying to buy one of those Ninja juicers.

Slurp...NOT!
Slurp…NOT!

Now, if you have Celiac’s Disease, then it makes sense to avoid gluten; however, according to WebMD, only 1% of Americans have Celiac’s Disease, and of that group, only 5-10% are diagnosed. So until I have diarrhea, anemia, bone pain, and a severe skin rash (dermatitis herpetiformis), hand over the real thing please. Another thing, how often (really now, fess up) when you are running errands, shopping, etc. and you miss lunch, do you see this type of sign…

Salivating... not salvation
Salivating… not salvation

and think, “gee, I’m starving for a salad”. bacon ranch salad McDs This, I can do:

This does NOT impair my vision. I can find my mouth in the dark!
This does NOT impair my vision. I can find my mouth in the dark!

This just doesn’t seem logical to me:

Is she eating with her hands? She must have long legs; I don't have that much room between me and the steering wheel
Is she eating with her hands? She must have long legs; I must have really short legs!

If you’re curious about how many people drive while eating (not to mention shaving, putting on make-up, etc), you can check out this Gallup Poll link, but if you’re looking for gluten-free recipes, just check out the Fitness (category) blogs. So, is gluten-free a new fad for the other 99% of us? What do you think? And, do you eat salad and drive?

How important is that Ironman?

Advance warning… language alert. One or two 4-letter words 😯

But I think it’s hilarious!

Sweet dreams are made of this…♫

Last night I was dreaming about donuts. Not just any donuts, but pink glazed with sprinkles…

Sweet dreams are made of this ♫
Sweet dreams are made of this ♫

 

I don’t like pink glazed donuts with sprinkles. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I ate a donut. However, following my mid-night craving, if someone were to smash one into my face, I would probably enjoy licking off the remains.

Perhaps, what brought this on was an article I read in the news yesterday of Joan Rivers getting cake-faced at a pre-Oscar party this past weekend.

The 80-year-old star was seen rushing out of the QVC Red Carpet Style party Friday covered in icing after an argument with Miss Piggy.  Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/joan-rivers-caked-face-pre-oscar-party
The 80-year-old star was seen rushing out of the QVC Red Carpet Style party Friday covered in icing after an argument with Miss Piggy.
Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/joan-rivers-caked-face-pre-oscar-party

 

How a stuffed pig could shove a cake in Joan River’s face is beyond me. I don’t like yellow cake with white icing either, but it does tend to soften her appearance, don’t you think?

I wonder what a dream interpreter would have to say about pink donuts?