Life in the fast lane…with a bowl of salad

Okay, so I was bored and ended up on the fitness blogs again. Usually I check ’em out at the end of the year, to see if the same fatties (hey, I am, therefore I can) are thinking up new resolutions to get those six-pack abs, and a curvaceous Kardashian derriere. I came upon this pic of a girl doing a yoga position… poor thing, I can see her ribs!

Oh yeah, I feel the stretch
Oh yeah, I feel the stretch

This reminded me of my selfie, that I posted some months back…

Picasso's Reclining Woman-1954
My selfie, as close as you’ll come to seeing me naked and twisted into the shape of a pretzel

No, you won’t get a picture of me standing in the bathroom in my underwear taking a selfie in the mirror to post on the internet πŸ˜₯ Next, I noticed that everyone and their brother are shunning gluten. Gluten-free brownies, cookies, muffins, tortilla chips, you name it; even the vegans and vegetarians are being shut out. I only saw one picture of a green kale, spinach, broccoli smoothie, so check out Ebay if you’ve been dying to buy one of those Ninja juicers.

Slurp...NOT!
Slurp…NOT!

Now, if you have Celiac’s Disease, then it makes sense to avoid gluten; however, according to WebMD, only 1% of Americans have Celiac’s Disease, and of that group, only 5-10% are diagnosed. So until I have diarrhea, anemia, bone pain, and a severe skin rash (dermatitis herpetiformis), hand over the real thing please. Another thing, how often (really now, fess up) when you are running errands, shopping, etc. and you miss lunch, do you see this type of sign…

Salivating... not salvation
Salivating… not salvation

and think, “gee, I’m starving for a salad”. bacon ranch salad McDs This, I can do:

This does NOT impair my vision. I can find my mouth in the dark!
This does NOT impair my vision. I can find my mouth in the dark!

This just doesn’t seem logical to me:

Is she eating with her hands? She must have long legs; I don't have that much room between me and the steering wheel
Is she eating with her hands? She must have long legs; I must have really short legs!

If you’re curious about how many people drive while eating (not to mention shaving, putting on make-up, etc), you can check out this Gallup Poll link, but if you’re looking for gluten-free recipes, just check out the Fitness (category) blogs. So, is gluten-free a new fad for the other 99% of us? What do you think? And, do you eat salad and drive?

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10 thoughts on “Life in the fast lane…with a bowl of salad

  1. Oh, absolutely it’s a fad! Unfortunately most of the new “gluten free” stuff really isn’t entirely gluten free so a lot of celiac folks are getting into trouble trying out all of the new food. I don’t eat while I drive and I would sooner buff my ass with 80 grit sandpaper than order a salad from Burger King (my Tuesday post-ride meal btw).

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      1. Yeah, it takes a lot of practice. I started out, I was the same way, just trying to remember to unclip when I came to a stop sign. With time and practice, now I can unwrap and eat almost anything I want, switch H2O bottles back to front while pedaling and even take my helmet off and re-clip the strap at 25 mph, without getting spit off the back of the group (bees fly in from time to time). My wife, on the other hand, she has to stop pedaling to take a drink.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. PS. Too many keys on the key ring! If that’s really you, you should have two sets. One with the car key and key fob and one with everything else.

    The extra weight ruins the ignition – and that goes for ALL vehicles, not just Chevy. 😜

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    1. No, not me (I wish), but you’re right about the keys…I didn’t notice. I was too focused on how she was managing to eat that salad without a fork. I’ve never considered salad a finger food :/

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Eating salad while driving is just not cool–Mom would have it all over her! πŸ˜€ And, yes, I think the whole gluten free push right now is a fad. Moving to whole grains seems to make better sense for those without celiac disease.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I would end up wearing the salad, or the worst case scenario would be explaining it to a traffic policeman when I dropped the tomato on the floor and had a fender bender 😯

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